Often times, we become so disconnected from our intuition. It can happen for any number of reasons, really. This is part of the process. If you were immediately able to hold everything in your awareness at once, it would be overwhelming, anyway.
Usually, remembering this sense is a process of unlearning, rewiring, and recognizing. In Go to the Limits of Your Longing, Rainer Maria Rilke mystically pinpoints the message we often miss:
that following our calling is something so obvious, we are oblivious, and if it doesn’t make sense, it is because it is only the beginning.
The knowing is supposed to feel far off. The lighter you get, the more you discover what was hiding in the shadows. This is normal. Like a plant deprived of sunshine, it simply needs you to learn how to take care of it. You might view the circumstances of shadow differently when you realize it is character, grit.
Each step you take requires trust, and there is always time to build it. It is not about the arrival; this is the getting there.
God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me. Flare up like a flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand.
Rainer Maria Rilke Go to the Limits of Your Longing